Finally it was the day for the final ceremony, also the day for cremation. The final ceremony took place at the mortuary which was run by the city hall. It is quite a building complex, containing about ten venues for ceremonies, parking area, and a crematory.
Depending on their relationship with the deceased, the relatives will be accessorized differently. As an unmarried the granddaughter from her married daughter (there is a difference between son and daughter, sexism stuffs…), I wore a hood with red point and a light yellow rob. My mom, as my grandma’s married daughter, she wore a hood with yellow square top, a small white ribbon on her arms, and a bracelet with coins (tshui-bue-tsinn, symbolizing the wealth that the deceased left for the offsprings). My uncle and his family, wore robs and hats made by a slightly rougher material. It feels almost like a cosplay event to me. The final ritual consisted of two parts. The first part was a private ceremony for the relatives. There would be more sutra chanting. Following the instructions, the relatives kneed down and bowed in front of the altar decorated with flowers and a photo of the deceased. Grandma’s photo was token when she was about 96 years old. She was traveling with my mom and her other daughters. She looked happy there.
During the final ceremony, the relatives will have to take the final look at the body of the deceased. During the whole time (roughly about 49 days), the body is stored in a freezer from the mortuary. Thus, the body will shrink and discolored. In this case, some cosmetic is needed. In the coffin, I could only see grandma’s face. Rest of her body was covered under origami lotuses. I have been to a few funerals. Most of the time, the cosmetic result wasn’t very satisfying. The ashen complexion, unnaturally pinkish cheeks, and overly defined eyebrows…they appeared as a mask for covering the discoloration and deformation. Gladly, grandma’s final look was good. She didn’t appear too far away from what I remembered. My father commented: “Hers is way better than my mother’s.”
After the private ritual, is the ceremony for the publics. Besides the close family members, the friends of the deceased will be invited. The in-laws will be invited. The friends of the relatives will be invited. The colleague of the deceased or the colleague of relatives of the deceased will be invite. If they cannot come in person, a bouquet (a huge one) will be delivered. Besides the abovementioned categories, the local lawmakers, or mostly the representative of them, will appear as well. They will appear just like the daffodil emerges at the arrival of the spring. They come and bow in front of the altar. In grandma’s case, there were not so many guests. She outlived too many people.
In the end of the public ceremony, all the relatives stood in a line in front of the altar and bowed to the guests. My cousin, the oldest son of my uncle, recited a short essay that he wrote to honor grandma. After that, we went back to the coffin and sealed it. Then, it was the time to march to the crematory. The crematory was at the back the of the building. The priest asked everyone kneed down and shout: “Fire is coming, grandma/mama run! May the fire burn the body not the soul!”
In the same building, crematory located at the ground floor. The first floor was a waiting area. There were monitors to show how much time left for the cremation and the cooling time. For example, the monitor will show: “XXXX is cooling, 20 minutes.” I stayed in the waiting area with my father. The rest of the people followed the priest to a different area to burn more paper money to grandma. Due to the ecofriendly policy, it was no longer allow to burn paper money in the mortuary. Mom said that they did walked about 5-10 minutes. While I was waiting with farther, I asked him about his thought on all the rituals. I said: “This belief system is full of loopholes. It is believed that the deceased still has a level of consciousness, so that the livings perform so many rituals to calm the deceased. Yet, the livings still freeze the deceased in a mortuary. Imagine being conscious of your own state, and trapped in the freezer, I will be devastated. Also, If it is believed that the soul of the deceased are separated into three pieces, one staying with the body, one moving into the spirit tablet, and the last one will eventually go the other world, or even reincarnate. How are we supposed to deal with the personal identity here? Only one third of the soul will reincarnate, and every time it will lose another two third, eventually, there won’t be much left, close to zero. Oh, they are not even sure whether the soul simply staying in the other world or definitely going on reincarnation.” My farther simply replied: “It is all imagination. Eventually the mortuary company will come up new ideas and new solutions anyway. Imagine all the paper money, even if it really transferred, what if there were inflation. Haha.“
Later, the relatives gathered at the ground floor. This time, we were asked to use chopsticks to pick up the remaining bone pieces and place them into the urn. Just a few minutes ago, everyone were having food (very likely using chopsticks to eat bento) in the waiting area, now it is considered proper to use chopsticks to pick the bone of the deceased…By the way, in the mean time, morticians ask us to tell grandma: “Let’s move to the new house.”
After collecting the ashes and bones, we brought the urn to the graveyard. The graveyard was on top of a mountain and about 50 km away from the mortuary. The urn was placed besides grandpa’s. It should be called as columbarium. For me, it is rather like a building complex, an apartment to me.
Anyway, that was about it. Rest in peace, grandma.
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